Monday, December 6, 2010
Lost the spark?
So I am pretty excited to actually be writing this as it has taken a year for me to design my new blog, yes I procrastinate a lot, but I'm sure you'll hear more about that in the days to come. For five years I have been helping women with their relationships. A lot of times, women ask me questions they don't feel comfortable asking their doctors, which makes me feel honored that they put that much trust in my opinion. One of the most common questions I get is how to get the spark back. Many couples face a decrease in intimacy after being together for several years, or with the introduction of a baby, medical conditions, or job related stress. This can often cause more problems out of the bedroom between the couple which could lead to a separation. Often around the holidays many couples find they are too tired or stressed to spend time together. So I have some tips on how to get that spark back during and after the holiday season.
1. Go back to the little things you did in the first couple years (or months) of your relationship. Hold hands, give compliments, write surprise notes; act like a teenager in love and you'll find that you will be closer to your partner. Make a promise to yourself to change any negative actions you may subconsciously (or consciously) make and you'll find your positive actions will rub off on your sweetie!
2. Get active! Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel giddy, healthier and sexier—so go ice skating, take a long walk in a park, or hit the gym together. Not only will both of you become healthier with more exercise, you'll have more self confidence to get closer to your partner and self confidence is the biggest turn on!
3. Schedule date night at least once a month. Yes, I know that does not sound romantic,, but think about this: we schedule everything else in our lives, doctor appointments, meetings, dry cleaning, why not date night. I'm not saying you and your partner agree to have sex on date night, but agree to have a baby sitter and do something fun. Cook dinner together, give each other massages, go sledding then drink hot cocoa afterwards. Your date nights are meant for the two of you to concentrate on each other and to bring back that intimacy.
4. Take time to sit down each day and have a conversation. Don't talk about the kids, bills, or obnoxious Aunt Shirley. Talk about world events, hobbies or something positive that happened to you that day. You might learn something new about your partner and you will continue to not only grow your relationship but stay true to your individuality.