Hail to the V

The vagina that is.

I came across and article from July discussing a Summer's Eve commercial, a really funny one.  I had no idea that Summer's Eve could come up with such entertaining stuff to advertise douching.  I feel like these  be Saturday Live skits and I was waiting for Wil Ferrel to jump out.  Side note: I don't recommend douching, the vagina is naturally self cleaning and some experts say douching kills good bacteria and can cause vaginal dryness.  And if you think your body odor is that bad, drink more water or go to the doctor because something else is going on.

And if that video weren't enough, there is a cat puppet creating new terminology, "That's Vaginal," all while selling you Summer's Eve.

Coming back from MIA

I have been MIA this month because I have been out of town for most of it and have completely neglected my blog.  But I am back and have lost of stuff to share!

Most recently I returned from  Pure Romance National Training last weekend in Cincinnati.  Every August several thousand consultants gather to learn how to improve their business and get motivated to rock out for the end of the year. 

I love training because it always gets the girls on my team motivated and helps them in ways that I never could.  It also means I get to see my close friends and network with brilliant business women. We also release lots of new products and this month we released over 30!!!!

Training always ends with the new consultants attending a seminar from Brian Brio.  If you haven't heard Brian talk, you are missing out.  He is absolutely amazing and can make your laugh and cry at the same time. When he comes to talk to us he talks about breaking through what is holding you back in life; whether it be mental or physical. He leads you through this inspriational, motivaltional, emotional seminar and at the end hands you a one inch board that you have to break in half.

Of course almost everyone doubts their ability to break through this board, but in  the end everyone does it.  Picture 2,000 in a room, in 100 different circles, cheering on 1,000 women in breaking their boards.   Everyone is clapping, yelling names, crying, and "Highway to the Danger Zone" is blasting on high.  You can't help but get emotional. 

As a Pure Romance Board of Directors, I get to hold the boards for the new consultants as they break it and it is such an honor.  I love holding the board for my new team members and seeing the look of shock, relief, and joy when their hand goes soaring through the boards: they realize they are unstoppable. It's hard not to get emotional when you watch someone go through several emotions first starting with fear and ending with joy as they break a piece of wood.

Here are some pictures of the board breaking experience.  Can't wait to do it again next year!!!

 

Stress less for better sex

I found a great article on keeping your sex life active when stress is in control! 

If only there were a candlelit bubble bath and a cup of tea waiting for us after a long day of work. Unfortunately, it's more likely that we're welcomed home by a to-do list that includes paying bills, food shopping and house cleaning, among other things.


And let's face it, when you're lying awake at night worrying about juggling it all, the last thing you probably feel like doing is being intimate with your partner.

One of the first studies to look at the relationship between stress and sex found that there are three types of stress that can affect life in the bedroom:
• Internal stress: Conflicts and tensions between a couple
• External stress: Work, finances, kids and family issues
• Critical stress: Unemployment, death of a loved one, serious illness

But interestingly, researchers found that internal stress is the major reason why women experience low or diminished desire. This means that while trying relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, may help you feel less stressed overall, they won't be much help pumping up the passion.

Instead, you need to work on your relationship. Maybe you and your partner are trying to get pregnant. Suddenly, sex has turned into something on the to-do list instead of something on the want-to-do list. This can create tension between you two, which, in turn, further dampens your ardor. Or maybe your partner was laid off because of the recession. You're trying to be supportive, but your partner has totally shut down and you feel shut out.

While some relationship problems, such as cheating, physical or emotional abuse, and substance abuse require professional help, many can be remedied with some attitude readjustment.
Here are 10 suggestions for rediscovering the lovers you once were.

1. Make a list. Learn about yourself and what brings you sensual and sexual pleasure. Tell your partner exactly what you like in bed. For instance, if there's a move or position you really love but haven't tried in years, try it the next chance you get.
2. Make another list—for your partner. Include all the things that get you in the mood. It could be as simple as having your partner put the kids to bed and clean the kitchen after dinner so you can have some downtime or as complex as the both of you learning to communicate feelings so you can feel closer emotionally.
3. Learn to play. Other than a board game or a game of catch with your kids, when was the last time you played with your partner? Have the two of you ever played? Well, now is the time. Try a round of golf in which you get a kiss for every stroke. Or feed each other your favorite foods: try licking whipped cream off each other's bodies or substitute some other pleasurable treat.
   
   Read the rest here: http://www.sexandahealthieryou.org/sex-health/less-stress-better-sex.html
   

Most important support in your life: your bra

Bra. Brassiere. Over the shoulder boulder holder. Hemispheres of Paradise

Whatever name you give it, bras are the staple for most, women who live in the western world.  We  feel so adult when we go shopping for our first bra, and when our girlfriends get one first we do ridiculous exercises to increase our bust.  I actually don't remember my first bra, it just seems like I always had to wear one.

The bra was invented by an engineer of German extraction called Onto Titzling in 1912. He was living in a New York boarding house, and one of his neighbours, a voluptuous opera singer called Swanhilda Olafson, complained that she needed a garment to hoist her vast bosom aloft every evening – so Titzling obliged, using some cotton, elastic and metal struts. Unfortunately, he failed to patent the device and, in the early 1930s, a Frenchman named Philippe de Brassière began making a suspiciously similar object. Titzling took him to court, but the unscrupulous Frenchman won the day. And that's why the garment all the ladies are wearing is called a brassiere, not a titzling. 

I can't stand bra shopping.  I love great lingerie and have plenty of sexy bras, but I can't stand trying them on.  Most women are like me, they don't like bra shopping.  Finding a bra that offers the best coverage, no double breast a.k.a. spillage, prevents fat back rolls, offers the best support....it's frustrating.  So when I find a brand that fits I buy almost every bra they have in my size.  I love Wimsey bras by the way.  Fit perfectly, are sexy and come in a huge variety of sizes! 

I do believe that I think it's so important for women to wear the right bra, it can make or break your outfit ladies.  You have probably seen images of women from the 1950's whose boobs look perfect, granted they were wearing a lot of undergarments, but the boobs were perky and the outfit fabulous.  Check out the support these bras offer. 

Statistics show that over 80% of women wear incorrectly fitted bras!  Did you know that wearing the wrong size bra can contribute to saggy breasts?  Gravity will take care of that enough for me, I don't need my bra speeding things up. 

When I first moved to NYC, I was 18 and needed a new bra.  I was shopping on the lower east side and went into a lingerie shop that looked like it had been there for at least 80 years.  There was an older women who started to help me, did a fitting  the dressing room then gave me a bra to try on.  I waited a minute for her to leave the dressing room so I could try this bra on, but she just stayed there.  I asked her to leave and she said, "No honey, I am going to make sure you put this bra on right."    

What? Put it on right?! 

I assured her I had been wearing a bra since about 5th grade and I knew how to put one on right.  As I uncomfortably got undressed in front of this woman and started to put her bra on I thought she would have a heart attack.  "Oy Vey! You are doing it wrong!", she shouted.  

Apparently I had been putting bras on wrong for 10 years.  I did the hook the bra in front then twist it around, put my arms through, then adjust the cups.   As this woman instructed me, I needed to put my arms through the straps, boobs in cups, then hook it in the back. Adjusting again as needed.  This she said prevented the band from stretching out.   It makes so much sense now.

So here are some  tips for finding a good bra.  

 1.  Get a good bra fitting to find your size.  Please visit a department store to get a fitting, (most Victoria Secrets sales associates do not know what they are doing). Head over to Saks, Von Maur, Dillards, Nordstrom, or a specialty lingerie store.  You want to get a new fitting every year.  Your breast size will change as your body changes.  If you want to get an idea of where you might be in bra size this is how you do a fitting. 

• Band Size – is (by rule) displayed in even numbers. Grab a tape measure and place it at a level that’s just underneath your breast fold. Run it around your ribcage and make sure it’s horizontal and fits snugly. If the measurement that you obtain is an odd number, it should be rounded up to the next even one. If the measurement is even, your band size will likely be that number but it may need to be rounded up to the next even number (so as not to be too tight).
• Cup Size - you will need your new band size and one of your current bra sizes to come up with this measurement. As mentioned earlier, cups are sized relative to the band size. Compare your new band size with your old one; if the new one is lower, you’ll actually need to increase your cup size! Every size (that’s 2 inches) that your band size decreases will require a corresponding increase in cup size. Sizes are: AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, FF, G and so on.

2. Invest in good bras.  You will wear  this bra several times a week, even if you pay $40 for it, you will get your money's worth. The more expensive bras will hold up better and look better after a couple of wears.

3. Buy a band that is a tad to tight over a tad too loose.  Bra bands stretch out, this is why there are usually three hooks.  Your bra should fit (without causing fat back), on the first hook. So the hook  closest to the end of the band.  As the bra stretches you can tighten it by using the inner hooks. 

4. For women with bigger busts, try on a bra and lift up your arms – if your breasts spill out the bottom of the cup, you’ll need a bigger one. 

5. You’ll know when the band is too big on you if it rides up your back, which will cause your cups to sag.  Most women solve this by tightening the straps which can cause back & should pain & poor posture.  

3. Unless you are wearing a cocktail dress with a low neckline  or wearing the lingerie for your sweetheart, opt for full coverage bras.  Demi bras are sexy, but they do not look good under a t-shirt.  You will need different bras for different tops.  

4. Bras with lace and bows are adorable, but think about what you will  wear the bra with.  Most bras with lace can't be worn under t-shirts, or button downs, because you can see the lace through the shirt. That look is not too sexy for most every day wear. 

5. Get a good strapless bra! The right fitting strapless bra will hold the girls up. You do not need clear plastic straps, besides they look tacky when worn with a strapless dress or shirt.  

6. Don't wear the same bra every day.  The oils from your skin will break down the lycra in the band faster.  

7. Hand wash your bras. Washing machine agitation and the dryer will ruin the lyrca quicker.  

 
Now that you have some tips on hand, go out and get a better fitting bra! 

The Sexual Response Cycle

 The sexual response cycle describes what changes the body undergoes as it becomes aroused. It is an individualized process; everyone experiences the cycle differently, although almost all people go through a similar process. It is important to note that the cycle takes place during any sexual activity where a person becomes aroused—masturbation, intercourse, manual stimulation by a partner, oral sex, fantasy, and more.

Over the years, researchers have explored the sexual response cycles of men and women. There are two popular sexual response cycles: Masters and Johnson’s Four Phase Model and Kaplan’s Three Phase Model.

I will say that while most people go through some cycle of the below phases, I don't think one is right and the other wrong.  I also don't think that you can say everyone goes through these phases and if you don't then you have a dysfunction; which is what both of these models say.  I have issues with the term sexual dysfuntion, but that's a whole different blog post. 

Basically, this is kinda what your body is going through when you get aroused and I think it's important for people to understand both of these models. 

Masters and Johnson’s Four Phase Model
Masters and Johnson are perhaps the famous for their sexual response cycle, s tarting their research in 1958. They were under fire several times for "exaggerating the benefits of their intensive treatment program and with failing to disclose the criteria they used to determine whether the therapy had a lasting effect. (NYTimes." The Masters and Johnson Institute opened in 1978 and was located in St. Louis.  Opened to study human sexuality, focusing on anatomy and physiology of the humans sexual response cycle, the institute closed in 1994. The duo is famous for inserting small cameras into the vagina of prostitutes and filming what happens to the vagina when a woman has an orgasm.    

Excitement
The first of the phases, excitement can last anywhere from less than a minute to several hours. There is also an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Typically, the sexual organs, including the clitoris, labia, and breasts, become engorged with blood (vasocongestion) and often become a deeper color. Lubrication is usually produced in the vagina during the excitement phase.

Plateau
The plateau phase is generally short in length (a few seconds to a few minutes) and the sexual tension that started in the excitement phase continues to grow. Extending the plateau phase sometimes can lead to more intense orgasms. Everything that occurred during the excitement phase continues to occur, but with more intensity—breathing becomes heavier, the sexual organs become a dark color, heart rate and blood pressure continue to rise, and muscle tension increases.

Orgasm
The orgasm phase is the shortest phase of the sexual response cycle, generally only lasting several seconds. Women do not always enter into the orgasm phase; sometimes they stay in the plateau phase. Most women experience rhythmic muscle contractions during the orgasm phase, which can occur in the genitals, as well as all over the body.

Resolution
The resolution phase is the final stage to the sexual response cycle. During the resolution phase, all sexual organs return to their non-aroused shape, size, and color. This change begins immediately after orgasm as long as there is no additional stimulation. The amount of time it takes for a person’s sexual organs to return to their non-aroused state varies between individuals.

Kaplan’s Three Phase Model
 Helen Singer Kaplan modified the Masters and Johnson sexual response cycle based on her work treating sexual dysfunction problems in men and women. Dr. Kaplan added a prior stage of sexual desire and eliminated the resolution and plateau phases.  (see Kaplan, Dr. Helen Singer). 

Desire
A unique stage to this model is the desire phase; most other sexual response cycles do not include this phase. In the desire phase, it is assumed that people want to engage in sexual activity; that they desire the activity and/or another person. Not all sexual activity is desired, though. For example, a couple trying to conceive a child may have sex even if they do not desire the activity.

Excitement
The first of the phases, excitement can last anywhere from less than a minute to several hours. Myotonia, which is categorized by increased muscle tension and flexing and contractions of the muscles, occurs during the excitement phase. There is also an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Typically, the sexual organs become engorged with blood (vasocongestion), including the clitoris, labia, and breasts, and often become a deeper color. Lubrication is usually produced in the vagina during the excitement phase.

Orgasm
The orgasm phase is the shortest phase of the sexual response cycle, generally only lasting a few seconds. Most women experience rhythmic muscle contractions during the orgasm phase. It is not unusual for people to pass back and forth between phases or for people to miss a phase. Not everyone follows the sexual response cycle exactly as is shown here. It is also common for  people to experience the cycle differently each time they engage in sexual activity. The sexual response cycle simply serves as a model to help to understand the variety of sexual responses that people may experience.