Friday, March 11, 2011

7 Bizarre Products for Dressing Up Your Genitals

I have a Twitter account and I will admit, I'm not sure how in the world to tweet successfully, but I do follow some interesting accounts.  One is, who is always coming up the most amusing lists:  The best things for everything you can imagine. 

Recently they came up with the 7 Bizarre products for Dressing up Your Genitals and I thought I would share.   I did find after reading this, there are more products for women to use then men, which means either companies want women to be dissatisfied with their genitals or women are demanding to change.  While some of these products are amusing and would be fun, be sure to love your body and don't do any drastic measure to change your genitals; they come in all shapes and aren't meant to be identical. 

Back to an amusing note, while reading this article I couldn't help but have Madonnas, "Dress You Up in My Life," in my head. Love me some Madonna!

7. Vajazzling - after a wax job, crystals are glued to the vulva in some sort of decorative patterning.  You may remember last year when Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared on Lopez Tonight when she proclaimed everyone should Vajazzle their Vajayjay and how hers, "“It shined like a disco ball!”

Vajazzling isn't really applying crystals to your vagina, they  are really applied to your vulva, so shouldn't it be called Vuljazzle?  I guess it doesn't have the same ring.  Vajazzling doesn't hurt, the  crystals are applied with cosmetic glue, the same type of glue that's used to glue on eyelashes.  You can go to most high end waxing salons to get this done, or you can even do it at home, not sure how great that would look though.  

Don't worry guys, you aren't left out, I know some of you are dying to apply crystals on your pubic bone.  According to Coco Perez, men can now Penazzle!  

6. Buldge Enhancing Underwear - women aren't the only ones wearing undergarments to add buldge to make them appear more volumpous.  Men can also buy underwear to make their crotch appear larger adding 1.5 inches.  Take your pick over at and choose from a variety of colors and over a dozen designers.  No more stuffing socks in your pants boys. 

5. The Cuchini Cameltoe-Hiding Apparatus - Most women have had camel toe at least once, mostly when wearing bathing suits and it's not an attractive look.  Now you can buy the Cuchini; a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment  and smoothes the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. As the website says, "Brazilian wax have become prominent in today's world, there is no bush for the cush."   I am not sure how well this will stay on once you get it wet though, that's why we don't wear pad while swimming. 
4. The BibHanger Genital Weighting System -In short, a contraption you attach to the penis, which has weights hanging from in to make your penis appear larger.  You wear this for short intervals and use it like you would weights to increase your biceps.  Before you boys start getting excited, there are serious health risks with hanging including: nerve damage, chronic pain, scarring and impotence.  Bigger is not always better especially if you can't use it.  But, if you insist on wearing one, head on over to and go get yourself one. 

 3.Neon Pubic Dyes - Basically what is says.  According to, "Transform your downstairs hair into a ball of sunlight that will truly brighten up a birthday or other special occasion! You might need sunglasses when confronted with the radiance of Betty Sunburst Orange, such is the force of its luminous qualities."   Betty Beauty claims they do not contain Ammonia and they have the lowest amount of PPD than any other dye on the market, but it's a chemical and I wouldn't recommend having chemicals near your vagina.  

 2. Vatooing  - I am not sure why this sounds like tattooing, because it doesn't involve needles, but rather airbrushing your vulva, so once again, why isn't it called vulooing?  According to, Vajazzling is soooooo 2010, and Vatooing is all the rage!  But I'm thinking apply a little friction and your cute little butterfly might look like a rainbow blog before too long.  I guess if you wanted something more permanent you could always just get a tattoo on your vulva...ouch. 

1. Genital Bleaching - if you think your genitals are too dark, just apply some bleach!   I am just going to say no to this one.  Vulvas, vaginas, and penises come in all shapes and colors, just love the color you have.  But some women want to "restore the pink" to their genitals, so along came You can change the color of your vulva as well as your nipples choosing from 5 colors.  

Have you seen any genital accessories you'd like to share?

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