Hail to the V

The vagina that is.

I came across and article from July discussing a Summer's Eve commercial, a really funny one.  I had no idea that Summer's Eve could come up with such entertaining stuff to advertise douching.  I feel like these  be Saturday Live skits and I was waiting for Wil Ferrel to jump out.  Side note: I don't recommend douching, the vagina is naturally self cleaning and some experts say douching kills good bacteria and can cause vaginal dryness.  And if you think your body odor is that bad, drink more water or go to the doctor because something else is going on.

And if that video weren't enough, there is a cat puppet creating new terminology, "That's Vaginal," all while selling you Summer's Eve.

Coming back from MIA

I have been MIA this month because I have been out of town for most of it and have completely neglected my blog.  But I am back and have lost of stuff to share!

Most recently I returned from  Pure Romance National Training last weekend in Cincinnati.  Every August several thousand consultants gather to learn how to improve their business and get motivated to rock out for the end of the year. 

I love training because it always gets the girls on my team motivated and helps them in ways that I never could.  It also means I get to see my close friends and network with brilliant business women. We also release lots of new products and this month we released over 30!!!!

Training always ends with the new consultants attending a seminar from Brian Brio.  If you haven't heard Brian talk, you are missing out.  He is absolutely amazing and can make your laugh and cry at the same time. When he comes to talk to us he talks about breaking through what is holding you back in life; whether it be mental or physical. He leads you through this inspriational, motivaltional, emotional seminar and at the end hands you a one inch board that you have to break in half.

Of course almost everyone doubts their ability to break through this board, but in  the end everyone does it.  Picture 2,000 in a room, in 100 different circles, cheering on 1,000 women in breaking their boards.   Everyone is clapping, yelling names, crying, and "Highway to the Danger Zone" is blasting on high.  You can't help but get emotional. 

As a Pure Romance Board of Directors, I get to hold the boards for the new consultants as they break it and it is such an honor.  I love holding the board for my new team members and seeing the look of shock, relief, and joy when their hand goes soaring through the boards: they realize they are unstoppable. It's hard not to get emotional when you watch someone go through several emotions first starting with fear and ending with joy as they break a piece of wood.

Here are some pictures of the board breaking experience.  Can't wait to do it again next year!!!

 

Stress less for better sex

I found a great article on keeping your sex life active when stress is in control! 

If only there were a candlelit bubble bath and a cup of tea waiting for us after a long day of work. Unfortunately, it's more likely that we're welcomed home by a to-do list that includes paying bills, food shopping and house cleaning, among other things.


And let's face it, when you're lying awake at night worrying about juggling it all, the last thing you probably feel like doing is being intimate with your partner.

One of the first studies to look at the relationship between stress and sex found that there are three types of stress that can affect life in the bedroom:
• Internal stress: Conflicts and tensions between a couple
• External stress: Work, finances, kids and family issues
• Critical stress: Unemployment, death of a loved one, serious illness

But interestingly, researchers found that internal stress is the major reason why women experience low or diminished desire. This means that while trying relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, may help you feel less stressed overall, they won't be much help pumping up the passion.

Instead, you need to work on your relationship. Maybe you and your partner are trying to get pregnant. Suddenly, sex has turned into something on the to-do list instead of something on the want-to-do list. This can create tension between you two, which, in turn, further dampens your ardor. Or maybe your partner was laid off because of the recession. You're trying to be supportive, but your partner has totally shut down and you feel shut out.

While some relationship problems, such as cheating, physical or emotional abuse, and substance abuse require professional help, many can be remedied with some attitude readjustment.
Here are 10 suggestions for rediscovering the lovers you once were.

1. Make a list. Learn about yourself and what brings you sensual and sexual pleasure. Tell your partner exactly what you like in bed. For instance, if there's a move or position you really love but haven't tried in years, try it the next chance you get.
2. Make another list—for your partner. Include all the things that get you in the mood. It could be as simple as having your partner put the kids to bed and clean the kitchen after dinner so you can have some downtime or as complex as the both of you learning to communicate feelings so you can feel closer emotionally.
3. Learn to play. Other than a board game or a game of catch with your kids, when was the last time you played with your partner? Have the two of you ever played? Well, now is the time. Try a round of golf in which you get a kiss for every stroke. Or feed each other your favorite foods: try licking whipped cream off each other's bodies or substitute some other pleasurable treat.
   
   Read the rest here: http://www.sexandahealthieryou.org/sex-health/less-stress-better-sex.html
   

The Sexual Response Cycle

 The sexual response cycle describes what changes the body undergoes as it becomes aroused. It is an individualized process; everyone experiences the cycle differently, although almost all people go through a similar process. It is important to note that the cycle takes place during any sexual activity where a person becomes aroused—masturbation, intercourse, manual stimulation by a partner, oral sex, fantasy, and more.

Over the years, researchers have explored the sexual response cycles of men and women. There are two popular sexual response cycles: Masters and Johnson’s Four Phase Model and Kaplan’s Three Phase Model.

I will say that while most people go through some cycle of the below phases, I don't think one is right and the other wrong.  I also don't think that you can say everyone goes through these phases and if you don't then you have a dysfunction; which is what both of these models say.  I have issues with the term sexual dysfuntion, but that's a whole different blog post. 

Basically, this is kinda what your body is going through when you get aroused and I think it's important for people to understand both of these models. 

Masters and Johnson’s Four Phase Model
Masters and Johnson are perhaps the famous for their sexual response cycle, s tarting their research in 1958. They were under fire several times for "exaggerating the benefits of their intensive treatment program and with failing to disclose the criteria they used to determine whether the therapy had a lasting effect. (NYTimes." The Masters and Johnson Institute opened in 1978 and was located in St. Louis.  Opened to study human sexuality, focusing on anatomy and physiology of the humans sexual response cycle, the institute closed in 1994. The duo is famous for inserting small cameras into the vagina of prostitutes and filming what happens to the vagina when a woman has an orgasm.    

Excitement
The first of the phases, excitement can last anywhere from less than a minute to several hours. There is also an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Typically, the sexual organs, including the clitoris, labia, and breasts, become engorged with blood (vasocongestion) and often become a deeper color. Lubrication is usually produced in the vagina during the excitement phase.

Plateau
The plateau phase is generally short in length (a few seconds to a few minutes) and the sexual tension that started in the excitement phase continues to grow. Extending the plateau phase sometimes can lead to more intense orgasms. Everything that occurred during the excitement phase continues to occur, but with more intensity—breathing becomes heavier, the sexual organs become a dark color, heart rate and blood pressure continue to rise, and muscle tension increases.

Orgasm
The orgasm phase is the shortest phase of the sexual response cycle, generally only lasting several seconds. Women do not always enter into the orgasm phase; sometimes they stay in the plateau phase. Most women experience rhythmic muscle contractions during the orgasm phase, which can occur in the genitals, as well as all over the body.

Resolution
The resolution phase is the final stage to the sexual response cycle. During the resolution phase, all sexual organs return to their non-aroused shape, size, and color. This change begins immediately after orgasm as long as there is no additional stimulation. The amount of time it takes for a person’s sexual organs to return to their non-aroused state varies between individuals.

Kaplan’s Three Phase Model
 Helen Singer Kaplan modified the Masters and Johnson sexual response cycle based on her work treating sexual dysfunction problems in men and women. Dr. Kaplan added a prior stage of sexual desire and eliminated the resolution and plateau phases.  (see Kaplan, Dr. Helen Singer). 

Desire
A unique stage to this model is the desire phase; most other sexual response cycles do not include this phase. In the desire phase, it is assumed that people want to engage in sexual activity; that they desire the activity and/or another person. Not all sexual activity is desired, though. For example, a couple trying to conceive a child may have sex even if they do not desire the activity.

Excitement
The first of the phases, excitement can last anywhere from less than a minute to several hours. Myotonia, which is categorized by increased muscle tension and flexing and contractions of the muscles, occurs during the excitement phase. There is also an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Typically, the sexual organs become engorged with blood (vasocongestion), including the clitoris, labia, and breasts, and often become a deeper color. Lubrication is usually produced in the vagina during the excitement phase.

Orgasm
The orgasm phase is the shortest phase of the sexual response cycle, generally only lasting a few seconds. Most women experience rhythmic muscle contractions during the orgasm phase. It is not unusual for people to pass back and forth between phases or for people to miss a phase. Not everyone follows the sexual response cycle exactly as is shown here. It is also common for  people to experience the cycle differently each time they engage in sexual activity. The sexual response cycle simply serves as a model to help to understand the variety of sexual responses that people may experience.

Frustrated with your two minute man?

This past weekend at several of my customers asked questions about how their male partner can last longer in bed.  This is a common problem I hear about several times a week at my parties.  I thought I would post a great article from Patty Brisben, CEO & founder of Pure Romance with some tips on how to help your man last longer in  bed.  Enjoy!
 

It’s time for you to stop watching the clock and get back to what is real! But I do understand that for some, lasting longer in the bedroom is a concern. Time and time again I’ve heard from men who have said they wished they could last longer in the bedroom. To these questions, I’ve always given the same response: it’s not about duration, it’s about quality! In fact, I can think of nothing worse than if both parties are watching the clock like they’re out to set some kind of Olympic world record instead of focusing on what’s really important—sharing an intimate experience together.

If you want to prolong how long you last in the bedroom, take your time and focus on making the experience enjoyable for one another. For example, if you take a break mid-intercourse for some sensual foreplay, you’ll prolong your orgasm while intensifying pleasurable sensations for you both. Touching and oral favors are great ways to boost your level of anticipation and take your intimacy to a whole new level.

If you’re already trying foreplay breaks and are looking for a little more help to last longer, there are also prolonging creams available that can help delay ejaculation. Many of these include a benzocaine base (a local anesthetic) that can slow down the level of arousal for a man, but still allow him to feel pleasurable sensations.

For a third option, you may want to try using a C-ring (constriction ring), which not only prolongs intercourse, but can also contains special features or "bullets" that are designed to please the female partner as well. Keep in mind that for maximum comfort while using a C-ring, you should always use an emollient lubricant, which is longer lasting than most water-based lubricants.

Even though wanting to last longer in the bedroom for the sake of time itself is a silly idea, wanting to improve the experience for yourself and your spouse is something we should all be trying to do. If you find that even with these pointers you still can’t keep your eyes off the clock, you might just want to cover it up to avoid any temptation.

Remember, being intimate with one another should never be a chore. These are the few moments out of your day when you can banish the stresses of the outside world and focus on each other, so make them count and don’t count them out!

Sparkles and Spurs

I went to Nashville this past weekend for the Pure Romance National Convention, the time of year where we celebrate the success of all the consultants for the previous year.  This year was the first year we were in Nashville and we celebrated in style at the Gaylord Opryland Resort and had our Award Ceremony at the Grand ol' Opry, yes the same stage the fabulous Loretta Lynn & Dolly Parton have walked.

The first night we always have an opening reception where we dress up according to our theme for the year.  This years theme: Sparkles & Spurs.  Almost everyone at the reception dressed in cowboy hats, boots, and plaid shirts but I decided to make my outfit shine!

A couple of years ago, I bought this floor length, long sleeve, mock neck sequin dress at a thrift store. I don't remember why I bought it, but it's been sitting in my bins since then and it was the perfect dress for me to chop up into a cocktail dress!

I am not sure what my face is doing in this picture, but it is not  flattering! I of course forgot to take a picture of the dress before I chopped it up, please forgive me.

Funny story about my altering the dress.  I used a serger on the edges and while serging the bottom, I noticed there was a Lee press on nail stuck to a sequin! I was totally grossed out and threw the dress in the bathtub to wash it.  I normally wash all of the clothes I buy at thrift stores immediately, but I guess I forgot this one. As the tub is filling up with water, the water is turning brown and I am becoming more horrified because it looked like dirt! I rinsed and washed that bad boy several times before I realized it was the color coming off the sequins. 

This is me being silly on the Grand ol Opry Stage, when I was called up for being promoted to Senior Director. 

New Dress for National Convention

This weekend I leave for Nashville for the Pure Romance National Convention and I am super excited! I  get together with my best girls whom I only get to see 3 times a year and celebrate each others success from the previous year.  On the second night, we have a huge awards ceremony where we honor the top consultants in the company.  A lot of consultants wear very fancy formal dresses, but that's not my style, I keep is classy and simple, but I always wait until the last minute to decide what I'm wearing.  This year our  theme is Sparkles & Spurs and the first night is an opening reception where we all dress according to the theme.  I am wearing a cute little dress to go with the theme and some snakeskin cowboy boots. 

This year I decided on Monday to make my dress (less than a week away) and yesterday I actually started sewing the muslin.  I decided to make a simple sheath dress in a snazzy fabric, I will save the fabric for you later, but it's gorgeous! 

I have several sheath dress patterns, but I usually screw them up or they don't fit right, so I bought Simplicity 2468.

The amazing fit patterns by Simplicity offers several options, slim fit, curvy fit, as well a several cup sizes.  Which I think it genius because not every size 8 is made the same way. So far the pattern has fit my like a glove, but the only thing I didn't like was the length of the neckline.  I am cutting the V-nk and it was a couple of inches too short, so I just cut it a little longer to 9" from the high point shoulder. 

To make the neckline longer, I just moved the patter down to the length I wanted and snipped away.  Today I am sewing my fashion fabric so I'll have pictures later!

Spring into a new relationship

Yesterday was a powerful day in nature: within a 24 hour period we had a super moon, new moon, full moon and the spring equinox!  Did you feel tons of great energy as you went about your day?

Since we are officially in spring I thought I would share some tips on spring cleaning for your love life! If you've noticed that things are as peppy as they used to be, or it's been months since you and your partner have gone out on a date or had a conversation that didn't involve, bills, kids, or  family, then it's time to kick those winter blues out of your relationship.

By doing just a few simple things, you can strengthen your relationship and bring you and your partner closer. 

1. Set up time to spend together - We more often than not, make plans to pick up the dry cleaning, go to the doctor, run errands, have lunch with girlfriends etc... But how often do we set up date night with our sweetie? Take this time to make plans over the next couple of months to go out on a date! Arrange for a babysitter and pick at least one night a month for you and your partner to be together.  You don't even have to go anywhere, stay at home and cook a nice dinner, play a game, have a converstation; but don't talk about bills, or the kids.  Talk about your dreams, current events, the arts....all that stuff you used to talk about

 2. Accept the repulsions you have towards your love - Once upon a time those repulsions caused you to fall in love with your partner, they weren't an annoyance  but a curiosity.  Have the courage to accept and get over all those little things that you may nag on.  Not everyone is perfect and accepting the "imperfections" in your partner will help blossom your relationship.  

3.Communicate - If there is something that has been bothering you that your partner did, tell them! Don't hold it in only to grow and fester and emerge as anger towards your partner.  Sit down and have a  mature conversation about what your partner did and how that made your feel.  Your partner might not have even realized they did something to upset you, but you communicating this to your partner will make them more aware so it won't happen again. 

4. Make out like you were in high school - Remember those long make out sessions with your boyfriend or girlfriend? It was so exciting sitting on the couch or even in the car kissing and rubbing each others bodies.  If the passion has taken the back burner, rekindle that spark with some heavy petting sessions with no expectations of sex. 

5. Accept your imperfections - Ask your partner if there is anything you can do to make their life better, or if there is something you do that annoys them.  They will appreciate your humility and honest evaluation of yourself.  Don't get upset at what your partner might tell you and be willing to change your habits. 

Raising money for Roller Derby

Last year I did a party for the local Roller Derby team; the Derby City Roller Girls as a fundraiser and donated a portion of the party sales to the team. If you have not heard of Roller Derby or been to a match, you are missing out and need to get on that ASAP! The Roller Derby game involves two teams skating around an oval track trying to knock each other down and passes the opposing team.  I will be honest, I don't know all the rules and am not really sure on how you score, but the matches are a blast to watch.  The sport is mainly women, although there are some teams that have male members (haha, I am such a 14 year old boy sometimes). The girls take Derby names which are usually a play on words with an illusion to pop culture or sexual pun, some of the names crack me up. For example, some of the DCRG are: Carrie A Glock, Felicia Slay, Little Rage of Sunshine, and Jimi Hittrix.

We were able to raise almost $500 and we had so much fun, we did it again this year.

Tonight was our party and we had about 25 team members and their friends showed up to learn about foreplay, tricks, and toys! Some of the girls had never been to a party and were very wide eyed at various points during the night but told me later the party was not what they expected and they had a blast.

When ordering was done, we had raised almost $300 for the team, and orders are still coming in! Hopefully we'll be able to surpass what we raised last year.  If you would like to place an order and have the DCRG get credit, just send me an email (nicolecissell@Pureromance.com) and put "DCRG Party" in the subject line. 

Collette Spring Pattern challenge

It's  been a busy couple of days for me, I've had 4 parties in 3 days.  Which is normal for me this time of year.  I took today off because of the Super Bowl; normally I would have a party on Sunday as well.  The sales this week were awesome, over $2400! Which means I've paid my rent and them some, these are the weeks I like.  Last night there were over 20 girls at the party, all in their early 20's in college.  I love doing parties for the young girls because they are sometimes so shocked by what they see in the catalog.  I do give them the award for most participation, almost everyone brought something to snack on and they just kept walking in bring food, it was a blast!

Today I will start working on my first pattern in the Colette Spring Palette Challenge and  I will be starting with a  blouse from McCalls (5661).  You might remember a few weeks ago, I listed this blouse a new project for the new year.  Well, when I decided to participate in the challenge and picked my palette, I realized the  color of the blouse fit in with my color palette; so it was added to my challenge.  That's not really cheating is it?

I will be making the blue design on the bottom right, but will be making some adjustments.  the neckline will be a bit lower and I'm not sure what I will be doing with the sleeve yet, I haven't decided if I like how they are gathered at the bottom. 

What are you sewing on now?

Fancy dress for fancy dinner

As a Board of Directors member for Pure Romance, I am always attending fancy dinners and of course I need a new dress for each one! I think at this point, some of my friends who are consultants look forward to seeing what I will make for the next dinner. 

I made this dress for our Board of Directors trip last June to Naples, FL.  I was inspired by a dress I saw in Dress Barn (who knew you could be inspired there) and immediately ran out to get the fabric. Of course I haven't worn it since, so this summer I'll need to find a fancy place to wear it, but I just love this dress!  The pin on the belt was inherited from my grandmother's costume jewelery collection and I love the silver on the turquoise. 

Training, Cutting, and Mad Men oh my!

I have been absent the past week as I have been swamped with Pure Romance events.  Last Thursday we had an Evening of Opportunity in Cincinnati which was amazing! I had 6 girls on my team attend with guests and one of my guests decided to invest in her business and become a consultant.  We released new product at the event, including a shower step & handle.  I am really excited about these two new products and already have loads of ideas on how to promote them to my customers. 

Saturday it was off to Columbus, OH for the first training of the year.  Columbus is 4 hours from me so I had to get up at 3 a.m. to drive up; I stupidly scheduled a party for the night before and didn't want to reschedule on my hostess.  Needless to say I was exhausted, but as usual the training was great! I left with a new coaching partner to help me stay on track with my business goals for the year and tons of ideas on how to lead my team. 

In other news, I have gotten addicted to the TV series Mad Men; apparently I live in a bubble and just recently found out about the show and I love it! It's inspired me to make a slew of Joanie dresses and try to figure out how to style my hair like hers since I don't have a personal stylist to do it for me.  I wanted to start watching Mad Men from the beginning so I've been renting the seasons and in about  1 1/2 weeks I've gone through the first 2 season and started on season 3 today (I told you, I was addicted). 

In an effort to justify all this time I've been spending in from of the tube, I've decided to work on some quilts.  I have several friends having babies this year and would love to make a quilt for them.  Two years ago I decided to make quilts so I've been stocking up on old sheets and fabrics I thought would go great in a quilt.  

As you can see, it's quite a stash and I've been cutting squares out of all of this fabric.  I never thought about how tedious cutting squares would be, but I have found that I can only do it for about 20 minutes then I am totally bored and ready to move on. 

Here's what I've cut out so far and I have barely made a dent in my pile. 

My  goal is to have all of this cut by the end of the week and to have finished the dress I've started on.  Not that much of an ambitious challenge.  I promise to write more often. 

Lost the spark?

So I am pretty excited to actually be writing this as it has taken a year for me to design my new blog, yes I procrastinate a lot, but I'm sure you'll hear more about that in the days to come.   For five years I have been  helping women with their relationships.  A lot of times, women ask me questions they don't feel comfortable asking their doctors, which makes me feel honored that they put that much trust in my opinion.  One of the most common questions I get is how to get the spark back.  Many couples face a decrease in intimacy after being together for several years, or with the introduction of a baby, medical conditions, or job related stress.  This can often cause more problems out of the bedroom between the couple which could lead to a separation.  Often around the holidays many couples find they are too tired or stressed to spend time together. So I have some tips on how to get that spark back during and after the holiday season.  


1. Go back to the little things you did in the first couple years (or months) of your relationship.  Hold hands, give compliments, write surprise notes; act like a teenager in love and you'll find that you will be closer to your partner.  Make a promise to yourself to  change any negative actions you may subconsciously (or consciously) make and you'll find your positive actions will rub off on your sweetie!

2. Get active! Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel giddy, healthier and sexier—so go ice skating, take a long walk in a park, or hit the gym together. Not only will both of you become healthier with more exercise, you'll have more self confidence to get closer to your partner and self confidence is the biggest turn on!
 3. Schedule date night at least once a month. Yes, I know that does not sound romantic,,  but think about this: we schedule everything else in our lives, doctor appointments, meetings, dry cleaning, why not date night.  I'm not saying you and your partner agree to have sex on date night, but agree to have a baby sitter and do something fun.  Cook dinner together, give each other massages, go sledding then drink hot cocoa afterwards.  Your date nights are meant for the two of you to concentrate on each other and to bring back that intimacy. 

4. Take time to sit down each day and have a conversation.  Don't talk about the kids, bills, or obnoxious Aunt Shirley. Talk about world events, hobbies or something positive that happened to you that day.  You might learn something new about your partner and you will continue to not only grow your relationship but stay true to your individuality.